Why Ignoring Boundaries Was Destroying My Happiness- Millie’s story…

Establishing boundaries can sometimes feel counterintuitive or like the beginning of a difficult battle. It's natural to fear that refusing opportunities or requests might disrupt productivity or cause tension within our relationships. After all, there's this persistent fear that saying yes ensures smooth sailing, maintains our task completion standards, and keeps our loved ones content.

However, mastering the practice of implementing constructive boundaries can truly transform your life!

Here’s Millie’s story:

Millie embarked on a life-changing journey last year. She was struggling with a chronic illness, which she was managing alongside full-time employment and being a mum, wife, sister, and daughter - all of which carried their own responsibilities. After years of suffering, she decided that she was ready to take back control of her boundaries and the elements of her life that she could control.

She sought help through a psychologist, healing through yoga and meditation, and my support as her coach.

Millie knew she wanted things to change in three main areas of her life - managing her illness with purpose and self-compassion, being confident in her presence as a mother and wife, and fostering a better relationship with her father and brother. She made fantastic progress during her sessions, and her capacity for self-compassion was definitely an element that helped her to make fast and lasting changes. We worked on challenges as they arose, dealing with her perspective of her emotional self and working on self-acceptance. As time progressed, we saw each other less frequently, but over Christmas, despite her efforts with her father and brother, she was left feeling undervalued and overlooked.

After a string of disappointments, Millie made a courageous decision. She chose to speak up, expressing her longing for more support and recognition from her family. Though met with a response that fell short of her hopes, Millie remained steadfast in her commitment to her own well-being. Today, she maintains a healthy connection with her father and brother, refusing to overextend herself, thereby reclaiming her sense of self-worth. Millie stands her ground with grace and determination. It is still met with some hostility and a lack of understanding, but she can forgive them, as she knows it does not come from a place of malice. It’s a challenge, but she is already reaping the benefits. She no longer feels blindsided or disappointed when she is seeking recognition and affirmation. She seeks support from people willing or able to hold space for her, with results she could only wish for six months ago.

Whilst she struggles some days with changing the dynamics of her interaction in these relationships, we often look back at how far she has come since last year. We identify her strengths and how her newfound boundaries give her affirmation, freedom to be herself, and ultimately, joy!

When you are ready to make a change, there is often a period of introspection, but this needs to be followed by a process of carefully considered and measured action. Seeking support and guidance at this stage can mean the difference between successful and lasting change or fireworks - an explosive reaction that changes things short-term but eventually fizzles out.

If you think you may need to put some boundaries in place and want to explore this further, then please do get in touch. Our first contact is always free.

Have a wonderful day!

Leila x

Still procrastinating? You could probably do with some accountability!

The topic of procrastination has created a fair amount of buzz in my world this week!

There are so many individual reasons to procrastinate, but when we talk about solutions, there's a common theme that stands out - accountability!

It turns out, it's not just about finding motivation or getting organised. In my discussions with many of you, the real key to overcoming procrastination is having someone to keep you in check, to hold you accountable.

So, it's not that you don't want to get things done; you just need that extra push.

What's the solution? Get yourself an accountability buddy.

This could be a business collaborator, a friend, a fellow entrepreneur, or your coach.

Make sure you have your personal cheerleader who won't take any excuses! Someone you respect and trust, who will listen to you and help you work through your challenges.

If you're tired of putting things off, maybe it's time to find yourself an accountability sidekick.

Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world. 💫

Is this really where I want to be?

In the face of this challenging economic landscape, we've experienced a series of setbacks, from Brexit to the impact of COVID-19, followed by disruptions caused by war, resulting in rising inflation and a cost of living crisis. I am sure that you have a story to tell about how this has affected you and your business, and I truly empathize.

In my previous role as a luxury estate agent, I certainly felt the pressure! With some investors unwilling to risk even a minimal percentage downturn on multi-million-euro investments, our deals started to fall through. Our international buyers temporarily retreated, but at those lofty commission rates, we definitely felt the impact! The soaring material costs and the sudden halt in lending by banks only added to the slowdown. While buyers are still in the market, it's clear that the frenzy we witnessed before and after COVID has subsided. It's a challenging industry to be in right now, along with recruitment and financial services.

As a coach, I have had many new clients coming to work with me due to a sense of frustration and demotivation. Where they were once thriving, they now find themselves trudging through the economic slowdown. Like them, many dedicated professionals who take pride in delivering top-notch services are now weighed down by aspects of their work they don't particularly enjoy at best. At worst, these moments are enough to make them want to quit!

Questions loom: Is this the path I truly want to pursue? How much more can I give of myself? Does my profession have a limited lifespan? What other skills and talents do I possess if I were to explore new avenues? Should I patiently wait for conditions to improve, and can I afford to do so? Can I persevere through this challenging period?

How will I find the right answer?

No matter where you stand in this situation, it's essential to practice self-compassion. Just be kind to yourself! If you're seeking clarity and considering making decisions, it might be helpful to take out a pen and paper. Write down your thoughts, create a list of pros and cons, and ask yourself the important questions. Engage in discussions and seek advice from supportive forums.

If you are still full of questions and doubts; if you have heard all the opinions and advice, but still don’t know which route to take, don't hesitate to reach out to me.

That first call is free and, you never know, even a 30 minute call could change your life!

Courage, mes amis !